Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
This month we've been apart almost two weeks really. To be exact, I was gone six days in IL and then together for 6 days before I left again for a week...all for work. I'm busy on the road so my time is occupied, but at the end of the day I'm exhausted and lowly, I miss Drew so bad. I've had people tell me, "Just wait till your married a few years." I don't ever want to get accustomed or complacent with this.
For now, duty calls. But it pains in the process.
Before the convention began, a couple of us went to Disney Land. After all, it is walking distance from where we are staying. I tried to have fun and tell my self that I was lucky to be there blah blah, but I could hardly enjoy myself doing so without my husband. Now I sound needy, and I'm not. It's just that I want to be and enjoy fun things together. & it just kills to be apart for so long. It's really started to take a toll.
Tonight I'm just having a moment. I usually do quite well. Like I said, work keeps me really really busy. Here are the convention we have appointmnets to meet with clients all day. From 7 am to 6 pm really. At least when I'm traveling to clients on the road, I'm able to talk to Drew between appointments and check in. Here, I don't even have time to eat which means I don't have time to talk to Drew until so late. It's just hard.
But I'm okay. I just needed to be heard.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
I'm no sure if you're able to noitce the 20+ flies on this boys face. Sadly enough, they don't even try ot brush them away. Their houses are made out of dung and their houses are located around the cow's area, the flies swarm and settle on the people.
Wilderbeasts. Naturally, Africa has their different seasons. Some people prefer to go the time of year that it is so dry that animals aren't just killing to eat but rather to live. By that I mean, the water is so sparce (water is a territory thing) that animals are fighting to protect their water rights really. The time of year we were there was baby season. A lot of babies are being born for different animals. It was perfect for me. I don't know if I could do all the kill. I'm sure dad would have appreciated it though.
These giraffes were kicking trash. They got a lot of their power in fighting with their necks. They would wrap it around and then pull it in. It wasn't the crazyest thing I saw girafees do...try two huge girafees mating. Dad said it was inappropriate for me to take a pic. I did any way.
Anyways... yesterday at the time crunch of it all realizing how much I had left to do yet not much time, I remembered that this time last year I was in Africa. I had a tender moment in my office.... It was really special--hard to describe in writing. But I was overwhelmed with how much I've done in the past year and how much I really have to be grateful for. Not a week goes by that I don't think of Africa. It changed my life forever. But not just that. The memories there with my dad are priceless.
And then my dad called and we were able to reminisce.
These flashbacks of my trip with dad to Africa were a sure 'tender mercy.' It helped me come down a bit from stress buildup and relive me for a bit.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
So my goal is to run this. I haven't run since my last knee surgery before I got married when the Dr. said I had a degenrative knee and that high impact and running wasn't best. I've jsut been walking for a year. I started running again this week and feel great. I will be my own best judge with this one. After the race, I will give it another's year rest I'm sure. It had getting in good running shape. Drew and I have both committed to doing it and we don't want to be the weak link. We're going for it! Can wait to follow up with another post about it in 6 months. Whew!
As weird as this sounds, riding horses isn't just about the fun. It provides for a bit of emotional healing at times, and stability to the mind as thoughts can just run away. Horses are a great source of companionship too. When I started dating Drew, he filled that void and I wasn't looking to ride as much. It is a great release. It was a great get-a-way from basektball, that's for sure. When I started dating Andrew, I just didn't need it as much so I thought. But I've gotta get back into it. I've neglected a part of myself and really miss it. And I've neglected the horses as well. Remember in the Toy Story 2 when the girl leave behind the doll... and then song plays "When Somebody Loved Me." I cried in that song. I did that to Melody and don't want to do the same to the horses out here.
Although I won’t be able to do as much good as they have, I can still work towards mirroring their same compassion, empathy, and generosity. I can be more willing to give of my time and energy to reach out and help others. I can smile more often, hug and touch more often, give more time to physically being there with those in needs. I want to work towards adopting some of their beliefs, values, and actions while expanding my comfort zone.
These thoughts might seem kind of random but they’re not at all. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since I’ve returned from Africa in Feb. It changed me forever. Rather than feeling the warm fuzzies from what I personally did there, I’ve often felt heavy for what I didn’t do and what I passed up. After all, I wasn’t there on a humanitarian project, but there were plenty people I talked to and friendships made where I could have been more open and followed up. In my defense, I was absolutely shocked and taken back by the poverty and deficiencies there. I had my reservations as a result. Which is why these women inspire me to open up and allow myself to give a part of me to others.
I know I can never be a Princess Diana or a Mother Teresa. After all, I’m just Mary Martha. But “I can do my own best work in my own best way.” All of us can do that at least. By doing so, I’ll honor their lives and the world will be much better for it. I’m sure that is what they both would want anyways.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
However, I think about blogging quite a bit and my thoughts on what to blog about have taken a different direction. I'm more hesitant on flashing all our adventures on the Internet for whomever to see, so I can't imagine the hesitation (I obviously don't hesitate that much) when we have kids.
It's funny how the mind works... I often think in blogging terms. That's not a linear thought process either. It's a way to be creative and think and express which is important for many but vital for me. I find myself holding back from blogging about things, ideas, fashion, color, and favorites because it doesn't seem to sink with the whole "andrewandmarymartha" blog theme. So bare with me if I venture out a bit. Maybe I'll move in that direction. Don't get me wrong, I love to express joy and talk about some of the fun things going on in our life. But I don't want to advertise and on a day to day basis, there are some very exciting things going on in my mind that I just need to express-blog about!